For the eighth time in recent days, Barack Obama has written to supporters to remind them that the most serious issue facing America is his upcoming birthday. And what makes this cake and balloon-filled celebration so serious?
"My upcoming birthday next week could be the last one I celebrate as President of the United States."
Also, he might not get a pony for his birthday because Ann Romney owns them all. That's a fact, and you can look it up on the Internet if you doubt us.
But despite being faced with the nightmarish prospect of celebrating future birthdays like every other human being on Earth, Barack Barry Hussein Soetoro Obama is making the best of a bad situation and selling $3 lottery tickets to let some lucky peon attend a birthday party "with me and some friends at my house in Chicago." Specifically, in the backyard.
But just imagine the great time you could have and the "friends" you could meet at that cookout!
Hey, there's Bill Ayers pouring something very, very, very flammable on the grill, and Bernadine Dohrn assembling a detonator! Care for a cold beer? Ask Professor Henry Gates to limp over and grab one for you! Want to make small talk with Barry's Pee Wee Hermanish neighbor Louis Farrakhan? Just ask him about "Jews" and he'll go on longer than the Energizer bunny!
Chicago mayor Rahm Emmanuel will be there, snarfing burgers because he's boycotting chicken. And because Tony Rezko helped pay for the property you're partying on, he'll be bringing a big birthday cake...assuming it's first delivered to him in prison and has a hacksaw inside.
All in all, it's a lot of entertainment that some lucky lottery winner will get for just $3.
Unless, of course, Eric Holder stops them at the door for not presenting a photo ID.