Last Friday, just after Barack Obama declared in a special news conference that "the private sector is doing fine" and "candy grows on trees in my world and everyone can fly," the president was blindsided by an actual question from an actual reporter which clearly got him wee-wee'd up.
Specifically, the reporter asked about the devastating series of leaks of classified information which are destroying our intelligence capabilities while - entirely coincidentally - portraying Barack Obama as a military strongman who could kick Rambo's ass without putting down his ice cream cone. Leaks which seem to come directly from the Whitehouse.
A clearly peeved president responded that the suggestion anyone in his administration could be involved with revealing classified secrets just to make him look good was "offensive," adding "we could do it, but that would be wrong." No wait, that last statement was from Nixon. Sometimes we get the two of them confused.
So egregious are these high-level leaks that only hours after the embarassing questioning, Attorney General Eric Holder - entirely coincidentally - appointed two attorneys to lead criminal investigations into any "unauthorized disclosure of classified information."
STOP EVERYTHING! It's time to play "Spot the Weasel Wording!" Did you catch it in Holder's statement? (tick, tick, tick...)
Time's up! The weasel word was "unauthorized." Meaning if Holder's investigators (one of whom was nominated by the president, and who has given thousands of dollars to Obama's campaign) discover that the leaks were authorized from within the Oval Office, they can honestly report that they found "no unauthorized leaks" and therefore no criminal activity.
Sure, some people might say that it's criminal to prop up Obama's declining popularity by throwing our allies to the wolves, endangering American lives, and compromising our ability to run intelligence operations in the future...but unfortunately, none of that will stand up in a court of law.
The court of public opinion is an entirely different matter, though. And if it can be shown that high-level members of the Obama administration or the president himself is behind these leaks, the judgement should be harsh, the punishment swift, and be administered by the voters of the United States in November.